Saturday, July 25, 2009

Summer of decisions & change

This has to be the summer that will give me an insight to how my life will turn out. There has been a lot of positive gain and change, but with it came a lot of decisions that could either set me back or propel me forward. My only problem with making any move at all is obviously failing...but if it did happen and I failed I would be able to recover like I have...or can I? Or is it that this fight took too much out of me for another fight? Until I can get rid of the cons I won't be making any moves. The one decision I have to make and I know its a life test and that is to walk away from a girl from work. The chemistry is there, but her situation is difficult and it would be right - on top of that if it didn't work I can't let it affect my career...I am back where I need to be and don't want to lose it all again...needless to say though life has improved drastically for me...I smile everyday now and put smiles on everyones face...he has been asleep for way too long and the world is glad to see him again.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

....

As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me. So I want to take this time out to apologize for things I have done. And things that have not occurred yet And the things they don't want to take responsibility for I'm sorry for the times I left you home I was on the road and you were alone I'm sorry for the times that I had to go I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know That you were sitting home just wishing we Could go back to when it was just you and me I'm sorry for the times I would neglect I'm sorry for the times I disrespect I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done I'm sorry I'm not always there for my son I'm sorry for the fact that I'm not aware. That you can't sleep at night when I am not there. Because I am in the streets like everyday. Sorry for the things that I did not say. Like how you are the best thing in my world. And how I was so proud to call you my girl I understand that there are some problems And I am not too blind to know. All the pain you kept inside you. Even though you might not show If I can apologize for being wrong Then it's just a shame on me I'll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me. You can put the blame on me. Said you can put the blame on me You can put the blame on me Sorry for the things that he put you through And all the times you didn't know what to do Sorry that you had to go and sell those packs Just trying to stay busy till you heard from Dad And you would rather be home with all your kids As one big family with love and bliss And even though Pops treated us like kings He got a second wife and you didn't agree He got up and left you there all alone I'm sorry that you had to do it on your own I'm sorry that I went and added to your grief I'm sorry that your son was once a thief I'm sorry that I grew up way too fast I wish I would've listened and not be so bad I'm sorry your life turned out this way I'm sorry that the FEDS came and took me away I'm sorry that it took so long to see They were dead wrong trying to put it on me I'm sorry that it took so long to speak...
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network