I just don't understand - everything that has gone on since my last post...damn probably even between mid-august till now things don't make sense...all these people coming back into my life like not a day went by...even my other family. I appreciate it a lot but I don't know where all this is coming from. Look I understand all of what I have gone through is a little old and overdone - I guess I'm afraid to say anything on here...I shouldn't but I have emailed Tina a few times since the last contact with her...no reply but movement...and even wanting me to help...but 2 months ago I was still a monster...I've had dreams...even un-easy feelings of her presence....and I'm not saying that to be mean...but these feelings I have I don't understand why I have them...when I had completely got over her...never looked at one picture of her since I moved from the house...and now its like she's there again...don't get me wrong it would be a blessing for us to be together but facts are facts and she rejected me as a person for her in her life and I've accepted it entirely...I just don't know what to do....all I know is there are days where I hear a sound or a smell something that reminds me of home....
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