I miss you...

Why me? what did i do? I thought i've paid for my mistakes - i've owend up and moved on...but why do i still miss her? I am not allowed to...I can't in fear of pushing this out longer...i need my kids...its what ive focused and fought for these past three years...so why do i miss a person who did what they did to me? regardless...I miss her so much...and for what it's worth I thank her for one thing...empowering me to be a better person. Today is a very hard day...things are getting closer to ending...and so much change going on...my head and heart can't take much more...but im proud that i never gave up. One thing that hurts me is i almost fell for someone who was like her...but the opposite...and again i get my heart broken...im too nice...god i want to cry so bad right now....