Last one for tonight

It's Valentine's Day...this is sooooo fucked....doing what I'm doing especially on this day....I wonder if the dreams will stop and the curse will go away...and I also wonder if I'll get some of the old me back? Or am I asking for too much?...all I know is my head is fucked up...and I didn't realize these wounds were deeper than I really realized...or at least I didn't think it would affect me this much...but I'm taking things in stride and trying to hold on to this wave...biggest one yet and so far this year I've been bombarded with a lot so far...none really bad but wtf...anyway I really should try and get to bed...I have to move allllll of the stuff down stairs and work tomorrow and be ready for 1pm then finish my day...put things back or what's left then back to work then bed...ughhhh
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Another break...

Well it does show something...not only what I've done tonight (junking)...I also did something I didn't think I'd ever do again but sitting here after the fact I know why...not a good reason but a reason none the less...I think doing what I'm doing is opening up a lot of wounds knowing that the end of my chapter of what I had has come to a close...so in essence I'm punishing myself? I'm sure it's the last as this is a big change...and on top of that I've been writing up a storm recently on here so somethings up...till I have another break or though...I went skiing btw..u know what that means.
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While I have a min...

It's funny how life works...I'm in the middle of trying to get rid of and sort all the stuff from 16 years of a life...junked 7 bags on saturday and now a shit load more...but I know its for a reason as change is coming...and keep in mind I'm not doing this cause I want to as I have no choice...but it's neat to see how life does work...it will do things like this but most people don't see it for what things are...the only catch it is impartial to good or bad...it just does. But if u have the hyper sensitivity I have for life u will start to see the same...anyway back to work :/
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Reality?

K like seriously...I have to learn now to start to control the gift I have. After looking at things on every angle to ensure I'm not nuts, I've come to the conclusion its real. I think everyone has it but with all the distractions in life we never realize and know. I've had time..5 years to see. It's in my writings; before and after, which shows validity. My problem is I have to start to figure out how to either control it or at least get in sync with it...one thing I will say now as more proof...something is building up to something..lol...sorry I know double word but it's true and its the only way I know how to describe it...not sure if it's good or bad but it's their...all I know is I got a surprise today by getting 800$ from the gov...on top of the $800 bonus from work last month...but its not money...it's something else. I'll keep you posted...but this is soooo fucked it's not funny.
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