Why?

Ok - I'm trying to look at things the way others see it but i can't. I really can't believe what happened today was just unreal. I guess i can bite back and bite back hard if i really get pushed...but what i don't get is,why did i have the nerve to finally do it? Why didn't i stand up to Tina like that? Wait maybe this was the lesson? Maybe it's shown me not to worry about standing up for yourself? I always used to until...well...and from then on i didn't stand up for nothing. But today the line was crossed. After being called names and how i'm a grade 9 high school drop out and will be alone forever...and then telling people and starting problems and she wonders why i don't want to be her friend or talk to her. And i get a double whammy because all i think about now is Tina...and not obsessively either...more like she is with me in spirit when times get rough...and even good ones...i don;t know, I try not to pay too much attention to it because she left me right? So there really is no point on dwelling...but i can say one thing about it though...anyway my head really hurts and so does my heart...i had things to say but i've just ran out of steam...will check back later...