Not sure if this will get through but Monday night she broke her spell of control over me and not realizing it...I didn't realize she really did. But for two months we have been slowly chatting even to the point of having each other on bbm. I'm sorry but the emails I've sent to her was not to get back together with her at all and it was funny how she totally twisted it as usual...but I gave her ample amount of opportunity, room, respect and time. I know it wouldn't have been easy after so long but I'm not a person who quits, no matter what and from what I've heard she isn't the same anymore...she's very high strung, anal and extremely controlling even with the kids...but the email I sent to her Monday night, well the response I got was a blow, but there was another side to the coin...I didn't like her? She was rather blunt and exlaims she feels threatened even to talk to me, and its sad cause her and I know she used to throw the punches around when she got upset or I didn't do what she wanted me to do...my mom will never forget the welts I had on my back one day...I forget why she did it but she's done things like that to me so many times it becomes a blur...but the tone and even hearing her talk to the kids, she sounds like that teacher you always hated in elementary school...you know the mean ones...it makes me shudder and I'm sure the kids don't like it either...in fact I'm sure of it...I feel different...and I do. I don't feel scared anymore of her, like she can't do anything to me and has no control over me...and it took her 5 years to break that spell. I don't think she knows it but I know going forward now she has no control over me without knowing she is going to get very mad that I won't jump when she says, unless its with my kids...other than that my words to you Tina Marie Cross - I do love you and I am allowed to, but that's as far as it will ever go...thank you for letting me go.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
No comments:
Post a Comment