What started it all surfaced...

This weekend was very symbolic...one thing that i just realized now which is very significant...i found her on a dating website...the very one the co-worker told me about. After 5 years of trying to rebuild trust in one and other went right out the window. I can never trust her again, nor even talk to her. The anger, and negative feeling i can't take anymore...no matter how much i do love her. She is sick and has a lot of mental problems and i am so better off without her...but i've now wasted 5 years of being pretty much loyal to this woman as most men would give up, i continued to try and fix and fight for what was right. I lost...all it took was "the website". She is off my phone, and is told any type of communication is through email only and for emergencies only...but to mainly go through Dre. I know it is a little immature, but what i went through and now what i've just come to find out has all been a lie for the past 5 years, i think i am allowed to do one small immature thing...but it's for a very good reason. Like i've always said unless we are together we can not co-exist...that's how strong our energy is...anyway yeah.