Funny isn't it....

I know...and I am not going to say it either, but at least I am trying. Well since I have returned to work not all that much has gone on...I kept my job...that's a bonus. I had to tell Carolyn I could no longer talk to her anymore...it killed me to do it, but by continuing to chat with her only fueled the pain...and it wasn't her, ,but just the thoughts and memories of the past and it made it very difficult to move on. I did have a roommate for a couple of months, Kristy...but 2 things that spoiled it, one...she did not pick up after herself at all...dishes..clothes, I mean you name it she didn't do it. Then it came down to when she met my brothers friend Shaun...they got together and he was here 90% of the time and near the end basically took over my house and I couldn't take it. They would not use discretion when it came to being intimate. So last Monday I asked her to leave. Might not have been the best decision I have made, but in retrospect it is...I have to leave this house...too many hurtful memories...good ones too. I have started to pack..3 BOXES!!!..lol....yeah right, not even the tip off the ice burg. Other then my personal life my kids are freaking awesome, but the signs of this are showing in them...Kiara is still mildly sick, and her teeth are all rotting. Dregan is starting to have issues with his temper and hurting Kiara...I guess it's a matter of time before people start to realize it's been her all along...but I guess that's what really has to happen? What I mean to say is, it's normal for society to make a false judgment until it's too late...it's common practice and I see it everyday...most but not all do. Other then that they are good...we have done some face painting, art, and I even have school stuff for them to do :-) She is not going to win...I pray everynight to pictures of my kids to ensure them that it is not over by a long shot...and they will have their daddy again no matter what. What is being done is heinous, spiteful, aggressive and showing no care or love or consideration for my kids...now all of the lies she has spouted are coming to light...The people at the center are starting to see it now over the past month...even to the effect that she said again she wants no more pictures taken of the kids cause I am posting them? LOL...so they asked her to bring in proof....she didn't...she had an excuse of something like she couldn't access it or print it...but she folded on her claims...I even found out from Kiara who in fact told the counselor the "Mommy grounded me for face painting"...I over heard that and asked the counselor what she had said, she repeated and I was in disbelief. One good thing, well yeah it is a good thing...but I was approached by someone from the national film board and want me to be in a documentary...I said yes 150% YES! But I guess the reason why I titled this entry the way I did was simple...Nov 2nd I go back to criminal court, they may drop it due to significant contradictions in her story...that's why if your going to lie, do not elaborate...cause your story will change, and we both laughed...because after I apparently beat her up and knocked her out, we had a smoke together...and I also found out because of what she wrote that my step sister has been involved since day one...and lied to me, my mother and her father...I know now I am not the one to blame anymore, and I am not crazy or violent...that I do know for a fact now. On another good note well sort of...I was given the opportunity to fly down to Tempe Arizona to submit and present a proposal to re-brand the SRT committee. I did one presentation over the phone for my initial proposal, and the next one will be via web broadcast in front of the whole senior management...That in itself is a full accomplishment. I turned down the offer to fly out..2 reasons, my kids and the fact I am chicken to fly. Other then that I am 95% back on my feet...there are still some wounds left to heal, ,but they are mending fast. All I do know my eyes are all on the Nov 2nd court case...once I get through that and my name cleared, I am going full force for FULL custody of my kids period, and will not rest or never stop until I do...and I am sure there are many people out there not wanting the real truth to be told...so I guess that's one reason why I have not blogged in a while...too many prying eyes, and every time I do...a cop knocks on the door or something bad happens to me. This will be the hardest fight ever in my life...but so help me god I will not lose...my kids are my life, with out my kids I have a huge void that I can not seem to close, no matter what I do. My kids are my life and taking them away is an evil and violent act towards them and myself and will not go without proper legal punishment. Regardless if what happens in January, even if I get weekends..I will continue the fight...then I will get joint...then again I will continue the fight until I get them home where they belong and where they want to be, because I have never ever seen my kids look so sad in my life and it does not even show that people care. I will not rest until they are home...enough said.