Like I know anymore....Should I even try and figure it out?

Yesterday was a weird day...some good mixed with some bad. A co-worker's friend passed away and it crushed her. Seeing her cry was rather heart breaking which was the bad part of the day. But the part where it got strange was a lot of things i have questioned about myself came to light and i got answers...well so i thought until what 15 mins ago...Part of me just doesn't understand anymore...I don't get how people say one thing and do another...am i wrong to not be like the rest? Is it wrong to say what i mean and mean what i say? It's almost as if life is showing me things in the end will be ok but i have to go through hell and back in order to learn and grow...but this is what almost 2 years now? I am not gonna let it get to me today not this time. Anyway i am out for now, at work trying to finish the day...Fuck em' if they can't take a joke....