Lunch time...

Well here i sit at lunch waiting for 1pm to roll around...i am glad i am starting to write again...my fear is slowly going away...it's noce to see the amount of support i get when i see my kids at the center...Like i mentioned to chantal when we are there we stick out like a sore thumb...what i mean is we don't look like we need to be there...because something i do the parents follow suit, or try the same thing i do...lol..i am not saying it in vain either, it was just something i noticed. One time a monther thoughti wokred there...lol..mind you I do help clean up and organize things as if i was working there..i also try and make the setting easy for my kids too. As much as i like the people there i think it's almost time to stop all of this...If i was an evil person like i have been depicted as then i would have fallen flat on my face...been arrested..something...but for over 7 months i have been the same...well the same plus the fear of being forced to believe i was evil...but other then thatbeen doing what i can to move on. One thing i noticed though...since I have been separated...the day that is I no longer smoke...i do have the occasional cigarette, but i know now why i had that addiction...I guess i now why people are saying i will come out on top...maybe because i am doing this all on my own...where as others are hiding behind people by over exageratting lies and stories...that's what happens i guess. Now I am free to show the disbelievers, courts whomever that everything mentioned about me or my personality or anything about me being evil, harmful, controlling...is and was always false, and it was I whom was controlled...reason being...i was too afraid to do anything...in fear that I would get in trouble...god I can't wait to finish this book...maybe then i will have full complete closure. Anyway I have 25 mins left till i go back to work..will either write tonight or sometime tomorrow.