...Famous words...I don't forgive, and I don't forget...

i just don't get it...seriously...i mean i do but i don't. Today had ot have been..and i mean Saturday with the kids. But i had to have been the most catch me off guard type of days...funny though...i mentioned that something would happen at the center and it did...i always know when they want to talk to me because all of them hover, but not in a bad way, more like a caring circle. I was taken out and was told that you know who wants me to have unsupervised visits...i was gonna suggest sitting down, but this is to major to even be poking fun of the situation...and i have litterally sat here on and off trying to really come to terms with it...in fact i've been like that all day. Everyone i've told is in shock...litterally. no one really knows what to tell me, except they say "well that's a good thing" and I should be happy...true very true and omg when I was taken out during my visit with the kids...and i just thought of that...why do that? why not wait till the end? anyway I kinda had to sit down because i honestly felt like i was gonna pass out and be sick all at the same time...i am still trying to digest this...all i know is on e of the biggest words that i have heard over and over and also something i've learned...Patience...it's funny cause it's true...I mean i finally figured out she stayed at Tamara's house on the 8th...that's why all the papers say she left me March 9th...everyone is showing their cards now, and all the players are coming forward, and lies being uncovered...it was hard going back in after i was told that...and as usual i went to wash my face because of the tears....it's funny i cry everytime i leave there...especially when the kids tell me in front of people they want to come home with me...i'm still confused though...i mean why now?...is it because i left Insight?...i mean i was asked over and over again if i knew where she lived...i have no idea now what to expect or what to think...yes i am very grateful and happy...but what about the time she said i was gonna kidnap them when i took them to the park with a councelor? or even x-mas for that matter...showed no regards to me or anything and pulled them out like what an hour and a half earlier? Even to not letting me do homework with Dregan, and it does get documented that she neglects it. So what now? this has to be like the hardest day in a very long time. I took the time when i got home to really look over her petition for custody...and to be honest it made me sick to think someone would have the odasity to write something like that to defame someone or even to the extent of ruining their lives....and it did for me. As much as my head is on straight, i am not the same as i used to be...i can see that now...but why?! Why now with all of this?...Like she's always said "I don't forgive and I don't forget".