Today is the hardest day.....

Today has to be the hardest day for me emotionally...I broke...or I should say I am broken...so for those out there who are happy about it...you got what you want...well part of what you wanted...I guess it's only about time when you get the full monty. I am slowly piecing the puzzle together and I am not liking what I am seeing...for the record, this could have all been saved...I know this now...but the other people involved had alot to do with it. I just want to...ugghhh...WHY!!!!!!! GOD WHY!!!!!!!! Everything around me is crumbling....all the good memories are flooding in...WHY!!!!! STOP IT PLEASE STOP!!!!!!! I BEG YOU, I AM ON MY KNEES BEGGING STOP MY PAIN & HURT!!!!!! WAKE ME UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE!!!! Please wake me...with the things I know now so I can prevent and heal what is wrong.