Something tells me they won't be there today...don't know why I think that...mind you I don't know why I think a lot of things these days...I know I'll never be ready for another relationship anytime soon...not even being intimate with anyone...I can't...why do things like this happen? It was funny I was talking to Jess about her relationship issue last night, and I just kept asking her the same question (why?)...going down the list...and startled her on what she found out...Part of me thinks things happen for a reason...part of me doesn't...my case this shouldn't of happend...there is no reason I can see...there are so many things I want to say on the topic, but don't want to give any ideas or suggestions. It's gonna be a tough next couple of days for me...today we will see if the kids show up...now I am thinking they will...but no one called me to confirm...second well I got court on Monday...I have asked why to so many people...why things like this happen...why the hurt and pain...why hatred...some don't know the answer, some sayit happens...I remember someone telling me a long time ago this is how it would end...lol...should have I listened then? I guess my big "Why" question is...why I still love? Not an "Obbsessed" love, but a pure love for family, kids and home...isn;t that what people strive for in life? A nice home, a good job, beautiful kids to care for?...but yet we throw it all away in the face of problems that could ultimatley be fixed...same as in Jesse's situation...anyway I have to get ready...Pary for me today...I just realized something...all this time I could have been partying...going out...since I have more freedom now to do it...but I don't...there is another "Why?" Why do I feel guilty? Why do I feel it's wrong? Ugghhh...So many questions...little answers.
No comments:
Post a Comment