Final post...for now...

Well I can't say I caved...I didn't, but I took down my blogs and saved them...mind you I know copies have been made of them. I did this for a few reasons...first reason is I am sure it will be used against me in the custody hearing against my kids...which in my opinion is unlawful, unethical and immoral. This blog site was intended to help me "RECOVER" from my loss. No matter how the facts get twisted, and not saying by me...all of what is happening and happened since May 3rd...well now I can say probably since March 28th now...is something that shouldn't be happening this way. It was a big help getting over things, and was and is a healthy way to cope and understand and sort through feelings. If it was wrong to do, my doctors, family, friends and the support I have been getting would have all told me my blogs were "to aggressive" or "inappropriate". It goes to show you freedom of speech can still be compromised and twisted...I care for my kids a great deal, and I am a very good father...to those who have seen my blog in the past, you can see. But when facts are twisted, making things look worse then they are, or were...doesn't help. I am or have gone through a separation of nine years...and what I am supposed to be happy about it? am I not allowed to grieve? or try and find acceptance and understanding over it? I guess not since I took my earlier posts down...I guess I am not allowed to feel sad...I know I could still have done so in "Word" or on paper, but I wanted to share with others my life experience, that's all...it was not intended to "Communicate", "Discredit", "Hurt", or even help my case...it was merely to help me move on...but I guess I am not allowed to do that either...I have learned quite a bit in 3 months...it's scary... I have been very passive since everything started since there is no reason for me to be otherwise...but me being attacked I guess in my opinion shows that I am a good father, and I am in the right...because if I was in the wrong, I would have attacked from the get go...so for the record since this post may be used too...I know I am separated, and have known since the 27th of April 2006...so please leave me alone...for those who have been sending me emails like 69 of them in 2hrs...or "80" in 2 days...please let me move on with my life and stop trying to keep me where I am...I don't like the pain or hurting...I just want to move on and be happy in life...I deserve it and so do my kids...I have more then enough proof of that. Once my blogs have been looked over by legal council, and others I will repost everything...untill then Freedom of Speech and my thoughts are silenced...well...on here anyway...I am still blogging in a "Word" document that I can upload after...For those who have given me unconditional support, and praises and prayers thank you...for those who have tried to hurt, silence, tamper and destroy my thoughts, happiness and well being....well....I guess in the end karma has a funny way of rearing it's head...so I offer no ill will towards anyone...until next time...oh if my readers still would like to read my blogs, I can send by email to requesters only...since I am posting them in a word doc.