Is resentment allowed?...is it wrong?

Well my place looks freaking amazing...still minor touch ups here and there but it looks 100% better. Thanks to Jess & Kristy. As much as cleaning is both a guy and a girls thing, a woman's touch is always a plus. As I was cleaning though I saw pictures of how things were and used to be...and made me sad at first, but then I felt a huge feeling of resentment towards Tina...because I know soon there will be another wave that she will try and throw at me...it is inevitable...But it's not totally resentment towards her, but towards the people who pushed her to do this...as much as a lot of people feel it's all her, part of my heart does not think so...it's not denial because I know she is never coming back, but I think others made her see things in a twisted reality...it's sad, because when I was looking at some pictures of her and the kids, she looked like a very innocent caring mother who was happy...and the person I saw in court looked like the devil himself...she did not look so innocent anymore, she looked full of hatred. Her eyes and gaze were like ice...and since I am and was the passive one, I bowed my head like a dog would to his scolding master. This is why I have been saying she took everything from me...not just my children whom I would die for...but everything about me...and she knows that, and I am sure she is laughing and happy she did...but one thing she did not take from me...and that is my pride and determination...sure I am still very much down about all of this...but as each day passes, I am getting stronger...and that is something I know she is afraid of and that she does not want that....because if I do get stronger, she won't be able to destroy me like she is set out to do...this is why I am feeling resentment towards her...but I feel bad for feeling that way...am I wrong to resent? or am I wrong to not resent? I was telling Jess & Kristy, I am still an empty shell...How long does it take to heal? People say I will, but why do I feel as if it is the end for me? One day I am going to create a blog apart from this one and tell the whole story from beginning to end...it is a good story to hear, and a sad one to finish...but within it there is romance, challenges, pain, love almost every emotion that a human can experience...I guess the reason now why I am hurting more then I did the first month and a half, is because I had hope...but after the papers were handed to me, it died with the rest of me...My determination grows each day to get my children back...I am not scared of anything anymore because essentially I have lost everything...except the love from my babies...as she said in many statements in her motion for custody, my children are afraid of me...they do not wish to see me...everytime they see a black car they are scared it's me...then when I did see them, they did not want to leave me...that is what is driving me...and I know Tina hates it and it is eating her up inside because in the end people will see she lied about everything...so the only way to try and win is by hurting me every chance she gets. I doubt she even knows I blog now...and in a way I hope she does, I hope she reads this and sees what she has done and how she did it was wrong...and the only people it's hurting really is the children...and that is a fact. I have always believed, never use the kids against one and other...if their is a problem between her and I...it is between her and I only...and I have never in my life thought about using the kids against her...so I know from all the support from not only family, friends...but even people around the world reading these...even though I have the highest mountain to climb, and the thickest walls to break through, I know in the end I will come out on top...