So many thoughts....

Well this morning is a little better...mind you I couldn't fall asleep till about 4:30am...had more dreams, but this time they were weird...I dreamt someone came to my rescue...emotionally, spiritually, physically...so needless to say I woke up in a little bit of a better mood. One thing I did come to the conclusion on...if Tina were to be able to be on her own to think...without outside people influencing her, things may have been different...I have been alone all this time with out side support yes...but none have pushed me or told me to leave her or to give up...they do feel what she has done is wrong...but they also say it is noble for me to not turn my back on her even though she is trying to decimate me...It stings...that is the word I have been trying to find...but her being gone with my kids stings every time I think about it...I guess I never really knew her then...I guess she was someone I never knew well...for her to to something like this...maybe it was her intention all along...just waiting for the right time to strike and poison me with her venom to try and kill me. Anyway I have a lot to do today and a lot of driving...see my brother...go to work...get Dregan & Kiara something for Saturday...come home clean...get the place ready...Man...at least I am keeping myself occupied...anyway I do have to start getting ready. But a saying comes to mind about me right now...especially after another wave from Tina...and it goes like this:

The phoenix will be consumed in the flames, but will be reborn out of the ashes."